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Gamer
Since the dawn of time, man and god have judged worthiness through games; from the Greek Olympics to Basketball to technical no-hit Dante Must Die only runs. Gamers are the heroes of the modern age, wielding the mighty controller and drinking the man-made ambrosia that is Mountain Dew, they fight unseen battles and get the high score . History At the beginning of the golden age the proto-videogame "Pong" was created, many did not take this seriously, but they were wrong. Eventually Pong collected the power energy needed to spawn the Arcade. Many were drawn to the Arcades by its fancy lighting systems, sounds, and scores. The ones who frequented these places became known as "Arcaders." At some point in the 1980's a man completed a runthrough of "The Last Starfighter" and was recruited by aliens to fight a menace in the deep reaches of SPACE . After the documentary of this man's glorious conquest was released, the people thought maybe they should train at home for these occurence. Thus the home entertainment system was created. The first Atari was born; a machine that could be played at the home on the "Television." The first generation of gamer was born, those who would wield the power of the game. Once home systems became more powerful, the necessity for Arcades waned and the old Arcaders went near-extinct. Many generations of gamers came about, with new systems being more popular than the last. At the pinnacle of the this era, the Xbox and P Es 2 was created. (Gamecube.) There was still a large stigma associated with these people, as great as they were. A side effect of taking on the duty of gaming was lack of physical and social exercise. These people were also obsessive about their charge. A war was fought, gamers versus everyone else. Gamers sought to promote acceptance to those who forgot about the glories of the old Arcade days. Many gamer lives were brought to ruin and tragedy, it was thought that the war was lost. However, a great hero appeared to take the gamer mantle: Bobby Kotick. He took over the company Activision and forced them to publish licensed titles of popular films. Gaming was becoming more accepted as small children and the elderly became aware of the game series Spider-Man , Shrek , and Tony Hawk . Then when the dawn of the last day struck the ultimate shield was created, which rallied all men and women to its call: Call of Duty : Modern Warfare. It caused a maelstrom of gamer transformation, for the first time a person could game out in the open and not be ridiculed for their duty. Gamers had won that day. Now with console and controller (fuck your PC) they could ride and save the day in all digital realms. However, a schism was created in the ranks and allies became enemies. Civil gamer war happened and it goes on to this day. Types of Gamers Gamer Any man, woman, or curious grandpa who touches their flesh to a game controller transforms into a Gamer. Once a Gamer, always a Gamer. Wielding the mighty controller, they delve into the mysterious realms of videogames to train for the future of humanity. True Gamer Some few men and women have taken to elevate themselves above all others: they are true gamers, because all others are lesser creatures who do not truely know what it is that encompasses being a gamer. It is a mantle not taken lightly, they go through rigorous tests and transformations from Tri-Force tattoos to going to Gaming and Comic conventions dressed in elaborate costumes. To be a true gamer is to transcend gaming itself. One must eschew an allignment to just one game, like Call of Duty. They take it upon themselves to get all of the Achievements, all of the merch, and post on every social media and forum about their journeys. Not all True Gamers are alike, some are alligned to only one system or all systems at once. They constantly battle for supremacy. Gamer Girl In the old days, it was forbidden for women to play videogames. When men had control of the universe, women were held back from their true calling. During the console wars of the early 2000's various gamer girls emerged from hiding, championing the cause of gaming. Now more girls are gaming than before, but to many a gamer girl has a special place above others (mostly to girls and virgin dudes amirite) Some gamer girls don't even want to associate themselves as gamer girls, but we all know that if you're a girl and you game then you're an anomaly even though there are thousands. Some gamer girls are vicious, seductive harpies who prey on the weak minds of lesser gamers; their siren call beckoning weak-willed men to walk off the figurative prow of the ship into the ravaging waters of giving girls online all of their videogame bux. Above all else, a real gamer girl will flaunt their status as females. They are special and you should pay close attention to them at all times. You should appreciate their willingness to subvert themselves to the whims of the realms of videogames. Those who do not pay heed will pay the price by attack from the zealotous hordes of desperate men whose breaths stink of cheetoh dust and vile fumes of decades old crystal pepsi. If you are a male gamer, take heed of the Gamer Girl: they have boobies and most importantly a vagina that you are sure to be able to insert your breeding probe into if you just tell them how pretty they are. Fighter Gamer Korean Much like Wolverine or Magneto, a Korean is a special mutant who was born with the power to play StarCraft and League of Legends really well. They can react faster and click more times than any other human-being on the planet. Koreans win all video game tournaments. They win all the money and they win all the girls. Role-Player Some take their roles too seriously and have created an entirely new kind of gaming: Role-Plaing, where a person acts in character inside the game they are playing. All roleplayers have extensive backgrounds for their characters and a large appetite for sex. Most roleplayers frequent MMORPGs (massive multiplayer role playing games) but some also roleplay in games such as Jedi Outcast. The average day for a roleplayer consists of talking to other roleplayers and going on "quests" or "adventures" and ending the day with a large amount of cyber-sex roleplay in the Goldshire Inn on the WoW server "Moonguard." There they add a much needed spicey side to the World of Warcraft, where their well endowed orc will make sweet love to a nightelf. Roleplayers tend to have huge libidos and are very good at the sex. Ninja Looter Gamer Troll Noob Retro Gamer There was once a time where 3 Dees did not exist and all games were set on a 2 dimensional plane with only 32 bits at most! It was a time of difficulty and strife, but much fun. So much more fun and best game design than these new games that cater to "casuals." A retro gamer has access to ancient equipment such as the "Nintendo Entertainment System" or "Sega Master Systems" or "N-Gage" to play the oldest games like "Super Mario Bros." or "Joust." They toil over their coveted machines to keep them maintained and working properly without burning the house down or blowing out fuses. They see the history that has been forgotten, when the time comes they will have everyone remember. Game Designer Category:Beings Category:Most Powerful Character